The other day I was minding my own business and heading towards my local bank to deposit a check. (That alone is remarkable; usually, I'm giving checks to somebody else.) On the way there, I walked past a tattoo parlor with a sign in the front spelling out the kind of people they don't want in their store. The sign was remarkably inclusive. Here it is, for your reading pleasure:
"NO CHILDREN. (Ningunas ninos.) IF YOU ARE drunk, on drugs, sick, pregnant, sunburned, dirty, smelly, eating, drinking, broke, trying to sell us something, looking for a deal, or otherwise obnoxious, please come back when you're not!!"
Near the sign, someone has put up a sticker: "People love us on Yelp!"